Events
by misspresh
Summary: Complete:: What really made Evan want to leave the X-men? This is my version. Pure silliness.


**Disclaimer: I don't own anything to do with X-men, or Star Trek.**

**A/N: This is my second humour based story. I don't know if anyone has done this type of story before, but just in case this is my take.**

**I came up with this idea in about 10 minutes. Hope you enjoy.**

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**Events**

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Everyone thought that when Evan left the Institute, it was due to his mutation. It was one of the reasons, but there was other events that had prompted him to do so. It had occurred several days earlier...

Evan was annoyed, it had been another bad day at school. All the people that he thought were his friends had deserted him since the discovery of mutants. Evan wasn't the only one effected, but he wasn't handling the situation well.

Wanting to speak with his Aunt, he decided to search for her. Knowing she was going to be with her plants he headed to the conservatory. Not wanting to disturb her, he quietly opened the door.

"Aren't you a cute little pansy? Yes, you are. You are. You will grow up as cute, as the rest of your brother and sisters. Yes, you will."

Ororo was speaking to a plant as if it were a baby. She then picked it up and began cradling it.

"Erm ... Auntie O?"

Ororo jumped and quickly placed the plant in its original position.

"Yes Evan. What can I help you with?"

Evan shook his head. "Never mind. It's fine I was just wondering where you were."

Ororo watched as Evan left the room. She then turned back to the plant she was talking to a moment ago, and straightened it so it was in alignment with the others.

Sighing Evan wandered towards Scotts bedroom. Knowing that he would listen to him. He knocked on the door but there was no answer. Placing his ear against the door he could hear music faintly. Deciding that Scott must not have heard him he opened the door and froze.

Scott was standing in front of his mirror dressed in a mini-skirt, with knee length white socks and black strappy shoes. On his upper body he was wearing a half opened white blouse. It was visible that he was wearing a bra underneath stuffed with most likely socks.

He was also wearing a red wig, that looked slightly like Jeans hair, and was wearing red lipstick. In his hand was a hairbrush, he was singing along with the music that he was playing.

"It's raining men. Hallelujah. It's raining men. Amen. I'm gonna go out, I'm gonna myself get, absolutely soaking wet!"

Evan quickly closed the door, and tried to calm his breathing. Realising that he suddenly needed the toilet he ran to the nearest bathroom. The door said unoccupied so he opened it up.

The shower currently running. Evan could heard Kitty singing softly. He began to back up to go back through to door, then he saw Kitty's silhouette through the curtain. There appeared to be a piece of anatomy that should not be possible on a female.

He almost fell backwards through the door but managed to catch himself. He now felt severely disturbed and fought the sudden wave of nausea.

He practically ran to Xaviers office nearly knocking Jean over who looked quite disturbed herself.

Stopping outside the office door he caught he breath and then cracked the door open.

"Captains log supplemental: The X-men are indeed strange people. The sooner I can leave this place the better. I hate children, I always have and always will. But these are no ordinary children. They bother me all the time. End log."

::Riker to Picard:: The sound appeared from nowhere. Xavier touched a gold pin on his chest that Evan had never noticed before.

"Go ahead Number One."

::Captain. Just to let you know, that we have heard from Star fleet command that your mission has been extended for another ten months::

"Thank you Number One. Picard out." Xavier paused. "Damn these kids!"

Evan quietly shut the door. Then frowned. If anyone had any idea about these secrets it was definitely going to be Jean. He made his way to her room.

Reaching Jeans room he thought he could hear yelps of pain. There was a sudden loud scream and Evan burst through the door.

"Jean! What's happened..."

Jean looked up and went bright red, almost as red as her hair. Evans mouth dropped open. Jean was sitting in her bra, and there was several wax strips on her chest. There was a strip in her hand, and was covered in hair.

"Don't you say a word." She stated. She stood up and turned around. Evan saw long strands of hair on her back, he grimaced and left the room.

Evans mind was going into overdrive. He then wandered aimlessly around the mansion. He found himself near Hanks medlab.

Knowing that Hank was a quiet man he thought that maybe he could hide with him for awhile. He strolled into the room, he stopped and saw that Hanks fur was coated in something.

"Evan. How are you today? Are you needing help in your homework again?"

"Erm ... no teach. I'm doing okay. What's that you're covered in?"

"Oh. Erm ... It's wax to make my fur more supple." Answered Hank.

Hank looked at the bottle that was in his hand, then hid it behind his back. But not before Evan had seen the label. It was blue hair dye.

"Okay then. I'll leave you to it, teach."

Evan quickly exited the room. Going to the kitchen he grabbed a can of soda. He then made his way along to his room, but stopped when he saw that Kurts door was open slightly. He saw that Kurt was on the phone.

"Yeah. I've been missing you too." Kurt stopped and nodded his head. "You vere right. It vas a great place to be."

Evan smirked. Kurt must of gone on a date with Amanda the night before.

"Love you too Toad."

Evan spat out the mouthful of soda that he just had. Wiping his mouth he thought of Logan. Maybe he could explain everything that he had seen today.

Walking along the corridor he saw Kitty who appeared to be heading downstairs.

"Hey Evan, like, how's it going?"

"Fine." He spluttered avoiding eye contact.

"That's good. See you, like, around."

Reaching Logans room, he thought he could hear crying. Evan frowned for this was Logan, the man who made hell seem like heaven after his training sessions. Evan cracked open the door, but was not prepared for what he saw.

"Why do you hate me? Why do we fight?" Logan sobbed quietly.

Logan crouched in front of his dresser, the only light visible was from candles that had been lit. It was covered in pictures of Sabretooth, they were among what appeared to be pieces of Sabretooths hair.

Evan closed the door hoping that Logan hadn't heard him. There was only one person left that he could talk to. Rogue, who kept herself locked away from the world. She would understand how freaky this day had become.

He made his way to Rogues room, but the nearer he got the more scared that he got. He had a right to be.

Opening the door he got the biggest shock of his life. Rogue was wearing a blonde wig. Her normally dark make-up had been replaced by different shades of pink. Her nails were pink. The dress that she was wearing was pink. She was even wearing pink high heels. This could not be Rogue.

Even more strange was the music that was playing. Rogue was happily singing and doing the dance moves.

"If you wanna be mah lover. You gotta get with mah friends. Make it last forever. Friendship never ends."

Evan thought that he was going to scream. He quickly left and hid in his room. He remained there for the rest of the day.

Later that day everyone sat downstairs while watching a film

"Hey has anyvon seen Evan today?" Asked Kurt.

"I saw him earlier, but he, like, seemed a bit freaked." answered Kitty.

"I wonder what was wrong?" thought Scott.

"Search me." Said Kitty. "Are you, like, wearing lipstick?"

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**A/N: Well there you have it. Hope you enjoyed it. I plan to write more humour it's just when I get inspired. Please review and let me know what you think.**


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